Diary of an E-Free Week: A week without TV, electronic games or computers.

From Sunday 19 April to Saturday 25 April, during our Autumn school holidays, my children had a week free from TV, electronic games and computers. After finishing the challenge I discovered my 10 and 8yo weren’t alone, a number of schools have tried TV-free weeks and anti-consumerist organisations have been campaigning for Digital Detoxing on the basis that we need to decrease our exposure to commercial branding.

Our E-Free week was not anti-consumerist but simply about re-connecting with the world around us. Many parents have told me an E-Free week would drive them crazy, that they couldn’t make dinner or vacuum the house without first putting their child in front of the TV. I know how they feel, I’ve been there too but it just doesn’t seem right. Likewise it seems we have the wrong end of the stick when we take our child to a restaurant or football game and give them an electronic game to keep them quiet. Electronic media as a dummy/pacifier is not a pretty picture. On this basis I just had to see how my children would behave without their dummies before I spat mine.

An E-free week has to make sense to you. For me it was about the TV, the games and the computer. For you it might be pulling the headphones from your teenager’s ears. For another friend it was about only using the computer while his children were asleep so he could pay them full attention while they were awake.

This was our experience.

Day 1: Sunday – Lego an inch thick over the living room floor

The beginning of E-free week got off to a rocky start when the children walked into our room at 6am and announced that they wouldn’t be participating and that they would forfeit their bribe incentive pay. An hour later they regretted their decision and we gave them a second chance. Miss 10 argued that her brother forfeited his reward because while he actually watched TV, she said the computer hadn’t finished logging in when the second chance was offered. We discussed the nature of intent, but Miss 10 was reluctant to drop the argument.

Miss 10 and I went with friends to a shopping mall and returned later that afternoon to see that my husband and Mr 8 had tipped all the Lego on the lounge floor and were sorting it by colour. We join them. Husband and I are enjoyed ourselves so much the children put themselves to bed and we continued sorting late into the night. Clearly we do not get out much.

Day 2: Monday – Lego and cubby houses

This is the first full day I spent with the children without the Pixel Nannies. I wondered who will crack first? Would I have to be ready with all manner of entertainments? I am simply not one of those mothers who organises craft activities for their children. I see craft as the school’s domain for perky teachers who think of nothing better than children up to their armpits in blue paint.

I needn’t have worried, thanks to my husband’s brilliant Lego forethought the children were up early still sorting the Lego. Being a strangely addictive practise, I found myself on the floor with them sorting the yellows and the greens.

Later that afternoon all was just a little quiet in the house – you know that eerie unnerving sort of quiet? A quick tour found the 8yo had built a small cubby in which he was sitting wrapped in a quilt reading. Last week he would’ve been zoned-out in front of the TV or begging to be taken to the video store. I smiled to myself.

We are a family that dines together but, increasingly, on the weekends I am whined at to allow them to eat their dinner in front of the TV. The result is children who only grudgingly drag themselves to the table. Without TV to absorb their attention neither child complained about coming to the dining table, in fact they offered to help set the table and stayed to help clear up without being asked.

Day 3: Tuesday – Still fighting but not bored yet.

Do you know what is conspicuous by its absence this week? The phrase “I’m bored”. Last week with the full range of electronic media as well as organised activities I heard that phrase almost constantly. The children were seemingly unable to drag themselves from the couch and nothing was to their satisfaction. Most days the children would watch one television each and not talk to each other, except to snap insults.

This week they quietly sought each other out. Not that they would admit to it. The fighting has not abated but at least they are fighting over whose turn it is on “Rush Hour” or who gets to hold the box of dark grey Lego pieces.

Day 4: Wednesday – a trip to the library counts as an exciting outing.

On Tuesday I mentioned that on Wednesday we would have pancakes for breakfast and visit the Library. The kids greeted this news with enthusiasm which goes to show what passes for an exciting outing when electronic games are not on the agenda.

An unhurried trip to the library is a wonderful thing when the kids can lie on the carpet in front of the shelves picking books out at leisure. Mr 8 has always been amused that you can walk out of a library with an armful of books without paying. By the end of the day he had read two short books.

In the afternoon I fired up the sewing machine and mended a couple of outfits that I’d been procrastinating about. Mr 8 sidled up to me to ask whether he can sew something too (!) A minute later he is sitting on the living room floor with a scrap of blue material happily sewing with bright red thread. Who would’ve thought?

Inspired, Miss 10 finds the beautiful wooden knitting needles she was given for her birthday last year and starts to knit a scarf. I didn’t want this electronic detox to end.

Day 5: Thursday – the sound of children reading
I woke up to the sound of children reading in the morning.

I reflected on how sometimes the systems that we parents put in place to make our lives easier can backfire on us. Five years ago we got Disney Channel so that the children could go downstairs to watch TV and leave us in peace on weekend mornings. We would allow them to watch TV until we got up. In the corporate world we would say that systems drive behaviour. That system drove them to wake up at increasingly early hours so that they maximised their viewing time and by Monday morning they were exhausted. This week without the lure of early morning TV the children have gravitated to relaxing in their beds with a book or audio CD and wake far more refreshed each day.

Day 6: Friday – Playdates for one child changed the dynamics
This day was always going to be a challenge. When the children have unfettered access to the electronics they tend to play on their own, often watching one TV each. This week they have sought each other out for companionship more often than I’ve seen in a long while. Today one child had a play date while the other didn’t and it really affected the dynamics of the week. In the past if one child had a playdate the other would watch TV or go on the computer, without that easy division of activities the child without the playdate felt lonely and left out. It struck me how we can use electronic media to silence or placate a child rather than deal with the social issue at hand.

Day 7: Saturday – Detox over.
What was I expecting? Probably that Mr 8 would wake up early and rush downstairs to get his fix of television. He did, but not before reading in bed for a while and asking our permission to go downstairs. Soon after turning on the TV he came upstairs again announcing that “there was nothing on TV” and turned on the computer. Miss 10 didn’t go near the TV until after lunch.

By mid-afternoon I could see that many of the same old usage patterns were creeping back. I don’t think the answer is to ban TV/gaming/computer use altogether but I certainly prefer the family dynamic when we are in detox mode.

Afterword
Our E-free week has been a resounding success. Without the lure of Disney, Nickelodeon or PlayStation my children reconnected with reading, with simple games, with the outdoors and with each other. Yesterday I spoke with two other local families who have been inspired to have their own E-Free Week and they have reported similar results. The striking thing about the week was how quickly my childrens’ behaviour changed. Unlike the Pantene ad, it did happen overnight.

I’d like our local primary school to instigate an E-Free Fortnight where children get sponsored to go without TV, electronic games or their computer in order to raise money for their school or a charity. Apart from the extra time gained to spend with their parents imagine children researching assignments by reading a book or going to the library just like in days before their time.

So who is going to join me for my next E-free week? I’m aiming for a week in the July school holidays. Readers without young children feel free to join in too. Oh, and grandparents ... could you deny your grandchildren the TV, or is that in the realms of 'grandma's treats'?