Good things come to those who wait

There's a school of thought that we do our children a disservice if we don't teach them to wait for things.

Citing the famous Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, Michael Grose (an Australian leading parent educator, parent coach, writer and speaker on parenting and family matters) suggested in one of his blog posts that it's important, "to encourage your children to delay gratification, practise self-discipline and build character along the way."

The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment was conducted by a psychologist called Walter Mischel in the late 1960s.  Pre-schoolers were given a marshmallow and told they could have it, but if they waited 20 minutes they could have both the first marshmallow, and a second marshmallow. About two-thirds of the kids either ate the first marshmallow straight away, or tried to resist, but gave in within the 20 minutes. The remaining third waited the full time and got their two marshmallows. Many years later Mischel followed up his subjects, who were then in high school, and discovered, among other things, that the children from the first group had experienced more behavioural problems at school and home, had attained lower SAT scores than the second group and had struggled more with friendships.

Mischel's conclusion based on hours of observations was that the delayed gratification kids possessed coping techniques to use with their 'hot emotion' (i.e the desire for the marshmallow) such as distracting themselves from the object of desire, which they then applied to other stressful situations in their lives.

However, in the interesting article in The New Yorker magazine about this topic, Mischel acknowledges that the challenge is to turn some of those tricks into habits.

“This is where your parents are important,” Mischel says. “Have they established rituals that force you to delay on a daily basis? Do they encourage you to wait? And do they make waiting worthwhile?”

So let's just say that's what we've been doing here at beforeourtime.com. We've been encouraging you to wait...

and wait...

...for us to start posting again.

And now we're very pleased to announce that we intend to make the waiting worthwhile.

Not only have we given the blog a bit of a makeover, we also have an interesting and thought-provoking line-up of posts to come. There will be:

• Our usual erudite and informative posts examining aspects of life pre-1970 and ascertaining their relevance (or not!) to our 21st Century lives
• 'Wisdom on Wednesday' - wise words from the past
• 'Tips from the Archives' (every Sunday) - hints and tips for everything from stain removal, pest control and food storage to etiquette, relationships and time management
• Plus posts examining the changes in corporate life since 1970...for better or worse?

We're very excited to be back on deck and look forward to you joining us for the journey.  Check the sidebar on the right for all the ways you can follow us (Google Friends, Twitter, email...) or just stop by the blog the old-fashioned way by typing beforeourtime.com into the address bar of your browser. If you're a Facebook user, you can 'Like' us by searching for the 'Before Our Time' page, and you'll be notified of any new posts in your News Feed.

For those of you visiting Before Our Time for the first time - welcome!  Please, browse through some of our past posts.

So, are you pleased we made you wait?

The party dilemma

“New York children grow up and have birthdays just as children do everywhere...but not quite. Forget Pin the Tail on the Donkey and Hide and Go Seek. Today’s most popular party game is Can You Top This? – with both parents and children as participating players. “Janie has a clown for her birthday, I want a clown that does magic tricks,” says one knowledgeable 4-year-old. Her mother complains, “The magician’s been done to death. We’ve got to find something new, something the children aren’t tired of, this year. This problem at age 4. And the parties get bigger, if not better than ever.”

Sound familiar? I've certainly heard parents saying similar things about parties here in Melbourne.

What may surprise you is that the above quote comes from an article written in 1969. (“The Party-Go-Round” by Claire Berman, New York magazine, 19 May 1969.)

While I imagined that the sixties were a time of pass-the-parcel and musical chairs at home, it seems (in New York at least) the party-go-round had already begun.

We recently celebrated my oldest daughter's 12th birthday at home with a group of 14 of her (girl) friends. By twelve, it seems they've done it all when it comes to parties - iceskating, theme parks, reptile shows, crazy hair, nail bars, fairy shops, even Gold Class movies...

So we fell-back on a bit of homegrown fun. We organised a 'reality team challenge' party - based on some of my daughter's favourite reality TV shows.

Four team challenges in four hours. Essentially, what they were doing was old-fashioned games and competition, just with an updated theme. It was a lot of fun, but it was also a lot of preparation work.

And this, I think, is how the party-go-round began. With parents increasingly time-poor, there just aren't the hours in the day to prepare games, bake food, make party bags and clean up afterwards.

Outsourcing the party looks a very attractive option. But with a limited number of entertainers and options, it does become a case of 'what's the next big thing?"

My youngest daughter has been to three parties this year with the same reptile show. It was great the first time, but even five year olds start to tire of the same old snakes on their shoulders and frogs on their heads.

It's very easy to say that all kids want is a pass-the-parcel, some fairy bread and a balloon to take home, but even the simplest of parties takes a good deal of organisation and preparation and with many families struggling to fit everything into their lives already, that may be just a parcel and a balloon too much.

Outsourcing or home-grown? What do you think?

Modelling healthy body-types

“We are to be a pretty shape this Spring and for many seasons to come it seems. No more top-heavy shoulders balanced perilously by narrow hips and stilt heels, but the true shape of a woman, curving in at the waist from rounded bosom and hips. A shape, at last, with balance.”

Glamor. The Magazine for Young Women. September, 1947 p. 33

Looking at photos of the models on the runways of the recent Sydney Fashion Week and Melbourne Fashion Festivals I was struck by how impossibly thin they all seemed. At an average of somewhere between 5’9” and 6’ in height and a dress-size of 6 to 8 (Australian , which converts to UK 4-6, US 2-4) the models represent a body type seen on only a tiny percentage of the wider population.

As the mother of daughters, I worry about the representation in today’s media of this waiflike body-type as an ideal.

It is a concern shared by some of the world’s fashion shows. In 2006, the Madrid Fashion Week organisers put a BMI (Body Mass Index) limitation on models taking part. As a result, five models were turned away.[1] Fashion shows in other parts of the world haven’t been so keen to act, mostly adopting voluntary guidelines.

Fashion models haven’t always been so thin. Before our time, in the 1930s and 1940s they were even what we would now describe as voluptuous.

The 1960s was one of the major turning points in the idealisation of being thin particularly following the rise in the career of Twiggy, a waifish fashion model who weighed just 90lbs (41kg)[2]. Studies of the way women are portrayed in the media have shown that models became taller and thinner between the 1960s and the 1980s.[3]

In the 1990s the ‘heroin chic’ aesthetic was adopted. Models looked thin, miserable and exhausted.

Nowadays, models are thin and sullen. Heaven help the catwalk model who cracks a smile.

Is it any wonder that teenage girls struggle with body image issues when the media surrounds them with images that are almost impossible to replicate (and that’s without even starting on the issue of the digital retouching of photos).

How do you think we could bring the happy, healthy body-type back into the mainstream media and the fashion industries?

[1] http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europe/09/13/spain.models/index.html
http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,21232157-5001021,00.html

[2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twiggy

[3] Body image: understanding body dissatisfaction in men, women, and children By Sarah Grogan. Published by Routledge, 1999
Accessed via: http://books.google.com/

(photos of Glamor magazine, September 1947)

Minding your money

The art of saving money is very much a woman's province. Women handle most of the money in the world. Though men are often good with money, women are generally better. Once they have established a goal, they can find ways to cut costs, while maintaining their living standards.

The first goal should be stabilising the family expenditure, the second to establish a sinking fund for emergencies, the third, getting hold of some money on which to base the family fortune.

"Are you making the most of your money?"

Australian Home Journal, February 1967

You can't turn around at the moment without encountering a reference to the Global Financial Crisis (GFC). The newspapers, TV news, radio reports - they're all full of it.

All of which is having the effect of making people very conscious of their own personal finances. Every day I have casual conversations with people about the changes they are making to their spending, or the impact the GFC has had on their superannuation accounts, or how their families, friends or acquaintances have been affected by job restructuring.

The boom-time mentality of the past ten years or so is definitely over.

Perhaps it is time to revisit some of the wisdom regarding finances from before our time.

I was intrigued to read an article from the February 1967 issue of Australian Home Journal and realise how much of what was written then has application today.

"A home is as much a business as a corner shop, and books should be kept. Not the great ledgers of Charles Dickens' times, and certainly not the soul-destroying budget books which list every packet of chewing gum. Just buy a small cashbook, write the month at the top of a double page, make one side the credit side and the other the debit."

In today's world it is easy to lose track of money coming in and going out. ATM withdrawals, direct debiting, eftpos, internet banking, cheque books, credit card charges...it takes a fastidious home accountant to keep on top of it all. But unless you do, how can you keep track of where your money is going and where savings could be made?

"Food is the most flexible item on the agenda and the one where all the economy usually starts."

It seems obvious, but we've become so used to buying what we want, when we want it, that we often forget there is a price to eating out of season. Fruit and vegetables are cheapest when they are in season. With a large freezer, food can be bought in bulk when it's cheap and then consumed throughout the year. Of course, if you don't have a large freezer already it may be false economy to go out and buy one! In our own household, we're currently clearing out our freezer in order to buy a half-side of beef. There are a number of 'cow-pooling' schemes springing up around the world, where families get together to buy a whole cow direct from a farmer and split it up between them. This means you may have to be a little more creative in your menu choices and start to exploring cooking with cuts of meat you don't normally buy, but it can bring the cost per kilo of the meat over the entire carcass down considerably.

"Impulse-buying, according to one bank manager, is probably the worst sin in the business of managing money...'Impulse spending can become a habit that grows and grows, until the impulse is an expensive holiday, or even an unsuitable house.'"

I don't think it takes a bank manager to point out the flaws in the habit of impulse buying! But I'm sure we've all been guilty of buying something on an impulse. It takes a fortitude of spirit to stop and ask, "Do I really need this?"

"Live within your income."

Again, obvious. But do you think all of our global financial managers followed this rule?

"Spend no more than one fifth of your income on rent, or equivalent mortgage payment."

This is one area where costs have slowly crept up over the past forty years. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics 2008 Yearbook in 2005-2006, "For the majority of owner and renter households, housing costs represented less than 25% of gross household income, but for some it was more than 50%.

"Wherever possible buy goods for cash - and use the fact that you are a cash buyer to obtain a discount."

Cash talks. In the current environment, you can certainly negotiate discounts by offering cash.

Definitely some food for fiscal thought there.

What is your favourite money-management tip from before our time?

Book Blasts from the Past

While visiting Mum in Western Australia last week I came across this amongst her cookery books. A cookbook put together by the local Anglican Ladies' Guild. The book is undated but likely to date from about 1964.

I was looking for a quick and easy banana cake recipe. Mrs P. Webb, a relative by marriage, submitted this one.

I needed this book, distributed in 1966, to work out the measures.

And I loved the little advertising gems.

Imagine, five pounds to install your hot water system. Lucky you indeed. Mathematicians out there - how much is this in today's dollars?

Boiled eggs and spam

Spam (n): unsolicited marketing e-mail communication distributed to a large number of e-mail addresses.

There was once a time when the word 'Spam' had little to do with e-mail and the Internet. Spam was instead just the brand name of a canned precooked meat product made by the Hormel Foods Corporation.

Spam belongs to a range of canned meats (including Hamper's Camp Pie and Bully Beef) that have the reputation of sustaining generations from the Great Depression right through the Second World War and the post-war rationing and are still consumed the world over today.

In fact, Spam is often credited with 'winning the war' as it was part of the ration-packs for American GIs and Allied forces during World War II.

Spam is made of a few simple ingredients: ham, pork, sugar, salt, water, a little potato starch, and some sodium nitrite (which helps to keep the pink colour - without it Spam would be grey).

Spam was first created in 1937, and since then over 6 billion cans of it have been sold world-wide. The Spam we get on the supermarket shelves here in Australia is canned in factories in the USA. There are also factories in Denmark, the Philippines and South Korea.

I've always shied away from even the idea of Spam. I treat any food that claims to be able to last forever with a little suspicion.

Information on the Hormel Foods Spam website suggests that, "As long as no air gets into the can, the vacuum sealed goodness inside will be as delicious and safe as the day it was made. It’s like meat with a pause button."

But, I know that before our time, many, many people grew up eating and enjoying Spam, so I set myself the task of trying it out.

When I mentioned my plans to other people, their reactions fell into two camps:

a) EEeeeeewww. Why would you want to eat that? (anyone younger than about 50)

b) Oh! Spam! That takes me right back. We used to have it... [insert description of how it was served in their homes]

My Dad had particularly enthusiastic memories of how Spam was eaten in his family home in Scotland in the 1950s, and talked me through recreating the experience.

The Spam was sliced finely.

And was served with a fresh garden salad consisting of lettuce, sliced tomato and boiled eggs with mayonnaise on the side. In his family's case, the lettuce and the eggs were home-grown.

A friend popped in while I was in the process of serving up the Spam.

"No, no." he declared. "You need to fry the Spam. That's the way we always had it."

So I ventured both ways.

The end result was certainly palatable, not nearly as bad as I had feared - although I think I preferred the fried option to the fresh.

Dad recalled that Spam and salad was served as a quick summer meal in his home, and I can see that with some cans of Spam in the cupboard and a small vegetable garden, you could easily whip up a reasonably nutritious meal in minutes.

During the Second World War, and into the post-war period in Britain when fresh meat was difficult to come by, canned meats definitely had their place. By canning meats in countries that had greater supplies, a valuable source of protein and nutrition could be transported huge distances with no need for refrigeration. There was also no need for the meat to be refrigerated in the shops, or the home.

I, like many others of my generation however, have been fortunate enough to grow up with ready access to fresh supplies of most foods...and I take refrigeration for granted. We therefore see items such as canned meats to be more of a 'camping' source of food - the type of supply you would take if you went outback with no power sources.

I can't say that canned meats will be appearing regularly on my dinner table, but they could. It wouldn't be the end of the world.

What is your experience of Spam?

Going the whole hogmanay

Following on from your interest in Halloween Scots-style, I've turned my attention to one of the most significant of the Scottish celebrations - Hogmanay (or New Year's Eve) and once again I consulted my in-house experts on Scottish culture before our time, my Mum and my Aunt. For good measure, my (soon-to-be) 99 year old grandmother added her memories.

My Mum recalled:

When we were young Christmas day was not a holiday in Scotland as the Scots wanted their one day off to be New Year's Day - the day after Hogmanay (New Year's Eve). The house was thoroughly cleaned on Hogmanay - no self respecting Scot would go into a new year with dirt from the old year lurking around! Shortbread tins would be full, black bun was at the ready (black bun is a heavy fruit cake encased in a shortcrust pastry) and the whisky cupboard was well stocked!

Before midnight the floor would be swept again to make sure no dirt went into the new year and the ashes from the fire taken out and disposed of.

After the stroke of midnight the men of the house gathered up their 'gifts': shortbread and perhaps a couple of kippers to ensure that the houses they went to would always have food in the coming year, a lump of coal to put on the fire - for warmth in the coming year and a bottle of whisky to pour ' a wee dram' for good luck in the coming year. The first man over the doorstep on New Year's Day was known as 'the first fit (foot)' and everyone wished to have a tall dark and handsome man as they brought the most luck to the house.

New Year's Day dinner was similar to what we now have at Christmas.

Together, my Aunt and Gran reminisced:

On the 31st of December, the house was cleaned. Beds were changed, all the washing and ironing was done and shortbread and blackbun were baked. Just before midnight we would check again that everything was clean, the dishes were all done and the place was tidy. Moments before midnight, your Grampa would take out the ashes from the grate below the open fire.

At the stroke of midnight, we would wish everyone present a “Happy New Year” with hugs, kisses and shaking of hands. Your Grampa would pour everyone a drink , traditionally this was whisky but other drinks were given if preferred and shortbread and blackbun would be eaten while everyone would drink to the New Year.

First Footing was done just after midnight to neighbours and friends to wish them “A Guid New Year”. To go “first footing” you took whisky, a piece of coal, a coin and some shortbread or blackbun with you to give the household you were visiting wealth, warmth, nourishment and happiness for the next twelve months. You always knocked on the door, even if you knew them well, so that you were invited in. The darkest haired person entered first as this was thought to bring good luck to the household and you handed over your gifts and had a drink with everyone present.

On New Year's Day, the whole family would gather at the parents’ house for lunch. Anyone visiting would, of course, bring the first footing items with them, and as each group arrived the darkest headed always entered first. You always knocked on the door on these occasions, even if it was your family home, and waited to be invited in!

Traditionally in our house we always had roast goose or duck on New Year's Day with all the trimmings.

I'm not so sure about all this cleaning on New Year's Eve - although I can see the reasoning behind it. If the house at least starts the year clean and tidy, there is some hope of that continuing into the New Year!

A tradition I'm more than happy to maintain in our own household however, is the baking of shortbread. As far as I'm concerned, the festive season is not complete until I've consumed at least a bit of homebaked Scottish shortbread.

There are a number of variation on shortbread recipes. I use a simple recipe which has been the standard in our family since well before my time.
The recipe makes four large rounds, which are shaped by hand, marked with a fork and scored by knife (ready to be broken into wedges when cooked).



They come out of the oven when they are golden and full of buttery promise and are sprinkled with caster sugar while they are still hot.

With a cupboard full of these, how could it fail to be a good New Year?

Wishing you all wealth, warmth, nourishment and happiness for 2009. May the year be full of coins, coal, kippers and whiskey.

(And just a little shortbread too.)

Scottish Shortbread

250g caster sugar

500g butter

750g plain flour

• Leave butter out to soften a little, then beat (I use an elecric mixer) with sugar until light and creamy.
• Add half of the flour and beat in.
• Remove from mixer, and add remainder of flour with a wooden spoon.
• Knead the mixture on a floured board until smooth.
• Shape into rounds and place on a baking tray lined with baking paper. Thumb press the edges, prick with a fork, and score into eighths.
• Bake cakes for up to an hour in a pre-heated 160C oven - watch until they are golden brown.
• Remove from oven and while still warm, sprinkle with caster sugar.
• When completely cool, store in an airtight container.